I’ve officially entered my 3rd year of being single, and I don’t mind it at all. For some of you, maybe 3 years isn’t a lot, but coming from a girl who thought she couldn’t last a whole year alone, that’s crazy…but awesome at the same time. This weekend I attended a singles event with a friend, I saw people of ALL ages all walking “the season of singleness”. Some had just ended a relationship, others were going through a divorce, and some just never really found someone to do life with. It was an amazing time and it motivated me to write this for anyone on this journey. I’ve learned to love this season. I think being single is a beautiful thing, if you allow it to be.
First of all, with how big social media is now, there was a lot of pressure on me. It was crazy to see people I graduated high school with already starting families, one of my best friends got married, and my close friends were already thinking about dating. When I felt God calling me to step into this season, I almost pulled a Jonah move. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
Now, being in a relationship was nice. But it was in this season of singleness where I’ve felt closer to God, and where I learned stuff I could’ve only learned while being single. I mentioned earlier how it was a struggle for me at first to grasp the idea of being single, but as time passed, I learned to embrace it. If you’ve been on this journey for a few years now, it’s okay. Being single is okay, trust me, it’s not that curse from that time you didn’t forward that message to 10 friends 10 years ago!
Being single is okay because it pushes me closer to Christ.
Let’s admit it. Brokenness pushes us closer to God. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18) There is something about a broken heart, an empty heart that attracts God to us. If you’ve just stepped into this season, allow it to push you deeper in your relationship with God. God is all you have, whether in a relationship or not, He will always be there. Read your Bible, download some podcasts, don’t just go through singleness, grow through it! There are things God wants to speak into you, and right now is the perfect time!
Being single is okay because it allows me to work on myself.
This is the perfect time to get your finances in order, or to work on those issues you’ve been struggling with. If you’ve had a dream of starting your own company, work towards that. Learn more about yourself, pick up a hobby, sign up for an internship, finish getting that degree, do something your future self will thank you for. There are things you know you need to work on before you start dating, work on those things.
Being single is okay because it allows me to build my relationships with friends and family.
We were never meant to do life alone, God created us to want relationships. My season of singleness pushed me closer to my friends and my family. There are things I wouldn’t have been able to do if it wasn’t for the people I was surrounding myself with. Invest in your friendships, don’t isolate yourself. Create memories and learn from each other.
There are so many things you can take from this season, but the most important one is realizing how much God truly wants to be your everything. He knows your desires, there is nothing wrong with desiring a relationship with someone, but don’t let that be your focus. God is all sovereign and I fully believe Matthew 6:33, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Focus on what is important right now, and when the time is right God will bring in someone who will complement you.